by captain america on 20/04/15 at 6:04 am
Concord, NH – (satireworld.com)
New Hampshire voters were left licking their lips after Presidential wannabe Governor Chris Christie whetted their appetite by introducing the crowd to a New Jersey staple, the tasty Taylor Ham Sandwich!
The iconic treat, favored by such NJ notables as Bargis Tryhol, Bruce Springsteen, Captain America, Count Basie, Frank Sinatra (rumored to have housed a pork roll in his shorts), Paul Simon (who didn’t), Jon Bon Jovi, Ice-T, Connie Francis, Wyclef Jean (responsible for introducing Taylor Ham to Haiti after the hurricane), Ricky Nelson, Bruce Willis, Danny DeVito, and a host of others, has been a staple in the “Garden State’ since invented and marketed in 1856 by Trenton’s own John Taylor, and not as claimed by Al Gore.
Despite Michelle Obama’s mandate for schools to provide disgusting lunches, Taylor ham is still a stable today in many of New Jersey’s cafeterias and a must have at the training tables of the NY Mets, Jets, and Nets!
Also known as the ‘Taylor Pork Roll” it is sold in distinctive cotton sacks, sliced to order, and when cooked on a grill is sliced in the shape of a Maltese cross to prevent the edged from curly up. In addition as a substitute for mundane bacon or sausage, it is also served with a fried egg and slice of cheese on a bagel, hard roll, or more recently on a croissant in Pawleys Island, SC.
Taylor ham is also celebrated at the annual Trenton, NJ Pork Roll Festival and the featured treat of choice at the upcoming reunion for the 1955 Oakhurst Grammar School class reunion.
Said one returnee identified only as LJ, “All I know is it tastes great, and doesn’t make my hair fall out…plus it keeps me regular, not easy to do at my age!”
SW Editor Bargis Tryhol concurred whole-heartedly, “I start every day with a Taylor Ham sandwich, Geritol, and Springsteen in the background singing “Born in the USA”…nothing like it, especially when you remember to leave a few slices scattered around your local Mosque!”