Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! - Daily Kos

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 18, 2015

Note: We'll be out for a bit when C&J is posted, so I'll be a little late checking in and splashing tonight.  Please behave yourselves and refrain from using the Buddha statue as a bettering ram to get into the liquor cabinet as the spare key can be found in its usual spot at the bottom of the howitzer barrel.  ---Mgt.

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7 days!!!

By the Numbers:
Days 'til the first Democratic primary debate (Las Vegas): 25
Days 'til Valleyfest in Spokane Valley, Washington: 7
Number of Super PAC ads that have aired for the 2016 GOP presidential election as of Monday, 90 percent targeted at Iowa and New Hampshire: 11,000
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
Drop in gas prices in August: 4%
Summer minimum sea ice in 1980 and today, respectively, in millions of square miles: 2.9 / 1.7
(Source: National Snow and Ice Data Center)
The last time homebuilder confidence was as high as it is today: 10/05
(Source: National Assn. of Homebuilders)
Consecutive years in which Atlanta's airport has been the busiest in the world: 17

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Rio 2016 and glory! USA USA!!!

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CHEERS to more Pluto porn!  The New Horizons probe has been a busy little bee lately, and its latest transmission is no exception.  According to NASA, "scientists [are] stunned---not only for their breathtaking views of Pluto's majestic icy mountains, streams of frozen nitrogen and haunting low-lying hazes, but also for their strangely familiar, arctic look."  This was taken just 15 minutes after its closest approach last July:

And y'know what?  In the spirit of reconciliation to the great state of Ohio, I'd be willing to name one o' them peaks Mount McKinley.  Assuming, of course, that the Plutonians don't mind.

JEERS to America's sorest winners.  And now, a special message from the Wall Street banker class, after learning that Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen still isn't going to raise interest rates:

"Wheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We can still borrow at zero percent interest and loan it to the suckers at whatever percent interest we want!!!  We…ARE…the ruling ONE PERCENT!  We…ARE…the ruling ONE PERCENT!!!"

And then they all jumped around in a huge pile of cash.  (Franklins only---lower denominations are the rabble's currency.)

Ayuh. Mine, too.

CHEERS to Maine's "#1" gal.  Sixty-seven years ago, on September 18, 1948, Margaret Chase Smith from the GREAT STATE OF MAINE became the first woman elected to the United States Senate---without completing a term started by another senator---when she beat Democrat Adrian Scolten.  (Her campaign slogan was a bit clunky: "My Sentiments Are With Margaret Chase Smith.")  It also made her the first woman to be both a U.S. representative and senator, and in 1964 she became the first woman to have her name placed in nomination for president.  She came in second.  Or as the menfolk in the 2016 GOP race for president would say: "As it should be."

Jeb's solution. Nice.

JEERS to the poorest richest nation on Earth.  The Census Bureau released its annual poverty report Wednesday, and overall 14.8 percent of us are at or below the poverty line, virtually unchanged from last year.  Children in poverty: 21 percent.  Despite the leveling off, Democrats are still alarmed by the numbers and want to take strong steps to reduce poverty in America, like increasing the minimum wage, preserving the food stamp program, extending unemployment insurance, and creating robust public works programs to improve the jobs picture.  Republicans say they've got their own foolproof plan for shrinking the numbers to zero: eliminate the Census Bureau's annual poverty report.

CHEERS to making a strong first impression.  Boing Boing says, "Surely this is the most Norman Rockwell photo (by Pete Souza) ever taken of President Obama meeting a little boy."  I admit, they make a good case:

I got no punchline for this, so I'll just say: it is the most Norman Rockwell photo ever taken of President Obama meeting a little boy.  And don't call me Shirley.

CHEERS to notable promotions.  On September 18 in the year 335, Dalmatius was raised to the rank of Caesar by his uncle Constantine I.  Historians believe Constantine had a bad case of the flu at the time.  When asked out of concern what his temperature was, he responded: "101, Dalmatius."

Tonight on The Late Show: new
Time Cover Boy Bernie Sanders.

CHEERS to home vegetation.  I thought there would've been more premieres this weekend on the teevee, but it actually looks kinda quiet unless you're a fan of Dr. Who, which premieres Saturday on BBC America.  Meanwhile, tonight on HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher welcomes Chris Matthews, Jorge Ramos, Mark Cuban and George Pataki (I guess no women were available).  And at 11:35, Stephen Colbert sits down with the one, the only…Bernie!  New DVD releases include Fast and Furious 7 and the well-reviewed Brian Wilson biopic Love and Mercy.  The baseball schedule is here and the NFL schedule is here.  (The Patriots will ride the Bills like a show buffalo Ha Ha Ha!!!)  Adam Samberg hosts the Emmy Awards Sunday night, but of course most people only watch it to see a multiple-nominee pileup.  And every venerable institution in America is trembling because they know they might be thrust into John Oliver's spotlight Sunday on Last Week Tonight.

And here's your Sunday morning lineup:

Meet the Press: No idea.  Chuck's goatee massage appears to be running long (it takes a while for the saddle soap to sink in).

Hillary faces the nation Sunday on CBS.

Face the Nation: Hillary!!!  Plus: Sen. Rand Paul talks about how Trump's insult really, really hurt his feelings.  (Spoiler Alert: sadz.)

This Week: Sen. Marco Rubio tells America to vote for him or he'll send out his goons to punch you in the face.  After the laughter dies down, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio talks Pope-a-Palooza.

CNN's State of the Union: Gov. Chris Christie and Gov. John Kasich are preempted by live coverage of a Donald Trump speech at a Manchester Denny's.

Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Carly Fiorina takes a victory lap for being the most articulate liar during Wednesday's Republican debate; Washington Archbishop Donald Wuerl and Father Thomas Rosica ahead of the Pope’s visit.

Happy viewing!

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Ten years ago in C&J: September 18, 2005

CHEERS to smushing the bug.  Stomp!  Stomp!  Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp!!!!  There...Bush's Social Security-gutting initiative is deceased.  Somebody get a Swiffer and clean up this mess.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to shameless timber shivering.  Avast, me hearrrrties!  It's me...Captain Billybeard, swarthy fear-instiller of the deep blue kiddie pool.  Tomorrow is the most blow-me-downest day of the year: Talk Like A Pirate Day.  And arrrway we go…

Tesla Motors: "Take yerself for a spin in our new electric carrr!"

Mayor Bill de Blasio: "Welcome to Central Parrrk!"

American worker: "Thanks to those greedy bastards on Wall Street, I may never get to retarrr!"

Obama and his White House pirate czarrr.

Winston Churchill: "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest arrr!'"

Buzz Aldrin: "Marrrs!"

Rapture Fanatic: "Prepare yourself for Arrrmageddon!"

Theatre Critic: "Don’t miss the revival of Streetcarrr Named Desarrr!"

Bubba Watson: "Parrr!"

Democratic strategist: "Them Castro brothers are rising starrrs!"

Postal abbreviation of Bill Clinton's home state: AR

Senator Tom Cotton: "Ready! Farrr! Aim!"

And a special bonus…

"There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of coursethe Democrats are disappointing---that's what makes them Democrats. If they were any more frustrating they'd be your relatives. But in this country they are all that stands between you and darkest night. You know why their symbol is the letter 'D'? Because it's a grade that means 'good enough, but just barely.' You know why the Republican symbol is 'R'? Because it's the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark."
---Bill Marrr

Thanks for reading C&J.  You've been a swarthy arrdience.  Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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